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Also, I'm angry

Dear everyone whose parents buy you everything and don't know what problems are - YOU ARE STUPID. STOP EXISTING.

Dear people who don't know how to merge. GO DIE.

Dear people who think they can drive and think all those accidents totally weren't their fault. THEY WERE GO DIE.

Dear people who think fat people aren't pretty and shouldn't be put in artistic mediums, be it drawings or photography - I THINK THEY ARE AWESOME AND PRETTY AND IM BETTER THAN YOU SO OBVIOUSLY MY OPINION IS RIGHT. BOOT TO THE HEAD.

Dear people who talk behind other people's backs DONT

Dear people who don't come out of your house JUST STOP BEING A HERMIT

Dear people who randomly tell me stories about how you drowned a cat by stuffing it under the ice in a lake I HATE YOU, AND WHEN I PICK MY JAW UP OFF THE FLOOR ILL PUNCH YOU DIRECTLY IN THE FACE YOU STUPID WORTHLESS CRAPHAT

Dear people who spend all their money and wonder where their money went DUH

Dear people who don't understand what good movies/books are AGAIN ALL MY OPINIONS ARE RIGHT YOU ARE DUMB

Dear people who criticize my child raising but don't have kids SHUT THE FUCK UP NO ONE ASKED YOU

Dear people who want kids but clearly shouldn't have them, as you can't even take care of yourself or a cat or anything at all even a little DON'T FUCKING BREED!!

Dear people who claim everything in the world is someone else's fault LURN RESPONSIBILITY. (OR GO DIE)


Dear cars with working parts FUCK YOU TOO.

Dear people whose kids pooped on the potty at like one year old or something YOU ARE ALL UPTIGHT MEAN PEOPLE ANYWAYS AND YOUR KIDS PROBABLY WERE AFRAID NOT TO GTFO

Dear people in my way at all GTFO

Dear people who blame me for someone else's car being broken and not getting fixed HOW THE FUCK???

Dear people who don't answer your phones JUST FUCKING WHY DO YOU EVEN HAVE ONE???

Dear people who don't like my fucking ranting, FUCK YOU TOO.

The end! I feel much better now. By the way, a lot of this was half-sarcasm, so hopefully no one is offended. Also, if you think it is you that I'm talking about, I'm probably not if you are reading this. If so though... sucks for you.

Honeymoon, and after <3

Well, the honeymoon was awesome. I only just realized I never actually updated on it. Chicago is cool as hell, and I got to see Carrie and my sister Andrea and her husband. (They are newlyweds as well, but have been together forever already).

My job has been going very well. I do customer service stuff, and they actually let me figure things out in whatever way I please, as long as the problem gets solved. Its actually wonderful, and the pay isn't bad either. More importantly, I have a huge desk against the back wall, where no one can sneak up behind me. I have two filing cabinets, and duel wide-screen monitors. My computer is even fairly quick! Imagine that. The best thing is that we are allowed to eat at our desks. The company and its employees aren't bad, by any means. I think I may have found my place for quite a while. I hope.

Jimi is getting through school as quickly as possible, and I have already warned him that as soon as he finds a good job in his field, I'm going to start complaining that I'd like more babies. I'm already excited about the prospect... but what is much more suprising, HE seems excited about it. Apparently he wants a girl. That's all dreams right now, although the future tends to come up on us quicker than we thought.

Otherwise, I have numerous projects and art commissions I'm working on right now, and that's exciting as well. Money tastes better when it comes from the thing I love to do, but honestly it just feels good to be doing it again at all. I haven't had time for much else than my work, art, and most importantly my family lately.

I didn't think that getting married would actually change much, but I think it has, and definitely in an inexplicably good way. I'm happy, strong, healthy, and full of love.

I may update more later, but right now I have to get back to my busy, wonderful life. Love you all!

Introducing... Mrs Berto!

Saturday was my wedding, and it was absolutely wonderful. I had been so worried all week that it was going to rain, but it stayed nice and cool and clear throughout the entire ceremony and the reception.

Caity helped my hair look perfect, and Sanders was at my side the whole time as well. Basically everyone helped me get my dress on, aided in clasping jewelry and whatnot, and telling me when to do what stuff. What amazing helpers I had! Zaki and Ian (and Preston, he sort of got sucked in) ended up helping Jimi and my parents with a lot of stuff too. They didn't complain a bit! Ian did throw a table and himself on the ground though.

The ceremony was in Mill Creek Park, with all the flowers blooming, and the reception was at mom's house. Brendan was my ring bearer - boy was that cute. He patiently waited until it was time to go, then held Sanders hand in one of his hands and the pillow in the other. He walks slow though, being short legged, and Don and I almost caught up to them by the time they got to the gazebo. Oops! Oh well, it worked just fine. I didn't forget anything vital (only the bubbles), and the only "bad" thing that happened was kids crying and not wanting to take pictures after it was all over with. That is to be expected though. The pastor did a great job on the ceremony, and I loved some of the stuff he said. Jimi shook the entire time, but especially when he had to talk. He claimed that he was just overheating, but we all know the truth! Everyone kept telling me that they were more nervous than I was... I really wasn't nervous at all. After years of theater and being on stage, I don't get nervous about that kind of thing anymore, and I was certainly fine with the idea of being married to Jimi!

Virginia brought cookies and the cake and cupcakes for the reception, and that was AMAZING. Just... she redefined the word "cookies" with the wide variety of awesome stuff she had. The cake and matching cupcakes were absolutely breathtaking as well as tasty too. I just couldn't possibly have been happier with all of it. My mom put out high top tables on the deck and in the yard, and put a pretty blue ribbon around the white tablecloths over them, and they were lovely too. The centerpieces actually didn't fall over, which was amazing since the vases were really tall, and the flowers even taller. (Totally my fault.) I'll get pictures of all of this stuff up on facebook asap of course. Zaki did the music, which was perfect too. Our first dance was Everything by Michael Buble. We actually agonized for a long time about which song to pick, since the only "songs" we have aren't really lovey dovey songs. Haha! We danced with our parents to Dog and the Butterfly by Heart, and the moms both cried, and almost made me cry too!

I had a great time mingling with people I haven't seen in a long time, and people I see all the time, and I was most of all glad to see my sisters and their sons. Our kids loved playing with each other, and we just liked being able to talk to one another and relax a little. Originally I had planned for both the ceremony and reception to be small, but I have to say it was really wonderful that I could invite all the people I loved to the reception and enjoy our wedding day with each and every one of them.

The food was super good too! And there was a lot of it. Don outdid himself, as usual, and my mom outdid herself in everything else. I seriously couldn't have asked for a better day. There were even really awesome speeches! Sanders' almost made me cry. I had a lot of almost crying moments, but I never actually did, fortunately, and they were all in a happy way! I think my mom and Jimi's mom cried the whole day though.

That's not the only thing going on in life though - I also just got a great new job that pays a semi-reasonable amount of money, and is full time, normal hours! It is just a customer service job, but it is at a place I am almost certain I'll love working at. I have known a few people who worked at McGraw Hill before, one of which was Jimi! He got fired for falling asleep in a meeting, so I'll be sure not to do that. Along with my new job, I also got Brendan into a really nice daycare in Reynoldsburg. I'm excited about this too - he needs to be around other kids more than he is now, and being in a school-like environment before he goes into kindergarten is important in my opinion. I would have done it long ago if I could afford to!

Tomorrow until Sunday Jimi and I will be on our honeymoon in Chicago. I definitely want to see the Art Institute's Museum. It is one of the best in America. (You know, in my younger days I got accepted there, but couldn't go. Haha! Funny how life works out.) I'm also going to meet up with my step-sister and her husband and have some pizza. We're going to wander around in the Italian section for a while, probably pretend to do some shopping at some point, and just generally adventure! It will be fun. Speaking of which, I should probably pack, figure out when we are leaving in the morning, etc.

When I come back, I have a wonderful family and job to come home to, but still need to do a lot of stuff too. I need to get my car situation straightened out. I have been trying to sell the damn thing forever, but at this point I think I'm just going to say "500 bucks come take the stupid thing!" and get it over with. I'm sure it will get taken care of in time, I just hate having things like this waiting to be done with!

Thanks again to everyone who made my wedding day wonderful, I love you all!

Easter and such

Easter was spent at Great Wolf Lodge in Sandusky. The one in southern Ohio is better, but this one was really fun anyways. Brendan absolutely had a blast. He's such a sweet, incredibly empathetic little boy. The way he acted with the other kids made me feel like an excellent mother. Other kids run around pushing and shoving and kicking all the time, but Brendan seems to get the idea of "don't do stuff you don't want done to you" better than most. Of course, he isn't perfect either, but I was proud nonetheless.

He even went on some of the big kid slides all by himself! What a big boy! He had fun on them, but I think they were a bit disorienting. I had fun watching him and relaxing, honestly. It was nice to just chill with my feet in the pool, with an occasional break for the hot tub. I only actually went down a couple slides. Jimi and our friend Kayla had a blast as well of course. They are like older children haha! They went down slides all day both days, and played in the pool, and then zonked out at the end of the day.

The easter bunny even came to our room and left Brendan a basket! Imagine that! He was really excited about his new stuff, and even got some candy this year. (Which I use to bribe him to be a good boy and pee on the dang potty. Hey, don't judge.)

Aside from that, the hunt for a job continues, and pretty not-successfully so far. I would love to have another art job, but I know that is a long shot, even though I've gained a little bit of real work experience, and am educated and experienced with just about every medium in the world. There are still so many better, more experienced and more talented people out there that I have a slim chance of getting one of the few fine art jobs out there. With my theater and blockbuster experience, I'm almost more likely to get an acting job at this point. Realistically, I'm looking for an office job of some sort again. I'd love to find something like I had at Medco, but I'd almost rather part time, to be honest. I'm so enjoying my time with Brendan lately, but alas, money is something we can't live without these days.

I've been begging and badgering Jimi to teach me martial arts in general and Tai Chi in particular, but we are both so disappointingly busy at the wrong times, that this has been basically fruitless lately. I still do my workout daily, but it is a lot less fun when I don't feel like I'm going to learn something that day. Then again, it could do me some good to practice what I already have learned more often, and I don't do that much lately either. I suppose all artists get "writers block" or whatever you would like to call it.

Speaking of which, although my photography and art has been fairly productive lately, I've been experiencing writer's block in the literal sense. I really like my idea for the story still, at least, I just feel incredibly stuck on where to go from where I am, to get to the next big part of the story. This happens to just about everyone in just about every story, as far as I know, so I'll do my best to work through it like I often do.

Generally though, I have succeeded in improving my mood and/or temperament. I've learned that my convoluted outlook on life caused by a lot of bad experiences just isn't good enough for me anymore. So, I'm trying to be nicer, more loving, and more forgiving. Generally just a lot more positive, you could say. I have been trying to do this for a long time now, actually, but I just realized, I guess, how important this attitude change is and has been to me recently.

It is most certainly my bed time, so good night world. I love you, and hope you have a wonderful night.

Wow oops I forgot

Man, I haven't updated in a while!

Very likely, this is because nothing interesting has been happening in my life, at all. I was incredibly sick for about a week - and I mean, couldn't get out of bed sick. At the same time, Keith (my manager at Art-Efx) decided to go crazy, discontinue paying me, and then paint over some of my work at one of the sites, claiming that the clients didn't like it. (Earlier that day, while he was gone, they had ranted at me about how much they loved it without prompting, and asked if they could please give out our business cards to other daycares in the area that they knew of, because it was so awesome....)

I actually took photos of it even though it wasn't finished, and the only part that people generally don't seem to like is the spongebob, which he actually did. Ha! Anyways, it was unfinished, so I don't know what he expected it to look like. Not only that, but he didn't let me do what I wanted anyways, and micromanaged me to an extent I would not have actually believed to be physically possible with art, so quite frankly, it is his own damn fault if he didn't like it.

But I think he's just crazy, honestly. And probably on drugs.

Anyways, that really sucked, and put me quite behind. I was unfortunately forced to quit, which was sad, because I wanted so badly for it to be my dream job. I do need paid, for a job to be a dream job, though.

I've been on the hunt ever since, even going back to applying for office stuff, and being turned down for a part-time commission-based photography job as well. I was the only one with photography experience or who showed up on time to the interview, so I can only assume they were looking for incompetency.

Sorry for sounding unusually disgruntled, but the world has been rude lately.

On a happier note, my mom and I did a huge chunk of the shopping for the wedding out of the way. I also have everything straightened out with the officiant and ceremony, and we went and looked at the wedding site. I have flowers, a veil, accessories, etc etc etc, there is a lot of crap that goes into weddings. In fact, I just need shoes, vases, and some other random stuff, and I'm actually all done! WOO! The dress is also being altered as we speak, which is great. The menu has been planned too, we are doing steaks and giant shrimp on the grill, with salad, pasta salad, and fruit.

And get this - no alcohol! I forgot it was at a state park, where that is illegal. I'm sure we'll sneak in some champagne for the toast, but my family is going to have to get drunk afterward, at the applebee's or whatever next to the hotel. (Yes, my stepdad actually bothered to look into this to make sure it was possible, and they planned it out.)

I don't know if the dog was in my last post, but I know most of you saw her on FB. She's a sweetheart, but is big on jumping. Otherwise, Brendan is good, he only got a little sick and it didn't seem to bother him at all. Jimi and I are going to take him to the water park in a couple weeks up at great wolf lodge, and I'm super excited.

Life is good. Hard, sometimes, and maybe even frustrating, but its good.

New home!

We are finally all moved into the new place! We still have a couple odds and ends to bring over from the apartment, but it isn't more than a few car loads. (I remember when that's all it took to move me, period!) I'll post some pictures soon, of course. I've been taking them here and there as rooms get finished and organized. While Jimi and the boys focus on getting all the big stuff put together, I have been organizing everything, and it has all gone surprisingly fast. Brendan's room is all done. Jimi and I use one of the spare rooms as a dressing room/closet, and all our clothes are in there and all set up, along with a yoga mat for getting ready for the day. The other bedroom is going to be a computer room, so I put all the books and games in there, along with electronics. Our bedroom is all set up, just the tv needs hung up. (I still think it is weird to have a tv in the bedroom.) The kitchen definitely needs set up, but I have to wait until the side table with all the cabinets is set up before I put most of that stuff away. The basement is all set up as well, just a few things and probably all of Zaki's stuff need put away.

Jimi already has tons of plans for the house. He wants to improve the dinner table, make a pantry next to the fridge, and do a bunch of shelving in our closet, as well as build an entire bar in the basement. Not only that, but he hopes to redo the kitchen. If this ends up really nice like I think it will, it might be worth it to just buy the house and re-rent it out to other people ourselves! We'll see how much actually gets done though. Oh, and he also needs to build a weapon rack for the basement so the swords and knives and such are displayed nicely while being kept safely away from little grabby hands. For now they are shoved in an unreachable area. The thing about moving with martial artists is that they have a lot of scary stuff. Haha!

Everything is going really well with the house. But also, I have an outside kitty, who seems to have adopted me. She watched (and sometimes followed behind us) as we brought load after load of stuff up over her porch and into the house. She was too afraid to let us touch her for the first few days, but she is so tiny and young, all it took was a little food and kind words, and now she will crawl into my lap and ask to be pet.

I also have like over 7 jobs going right now as far as murals and large canvasses, and a website to make really soon. And you know what that means! Yeeah money to throw at our new house! And Brendan's summer clothes... I'm hoping for summer soon, so I can start planting stuff!

Moving soon... about time.

Well, I have lived in Columbus for about 4 or 5 years now. This will be my 8th time moving. Jimi has been here about the same amount of time, and has only lived in two different apartments. The only stuff I own at this point is either Brendan's, or stuff I have collected since living with Jimi - I really just didn't bother with having a lot of stuff since I did move so much, or getting attached to places. To be fair, this isn't really a bad thing for me - I've never been one to get incredibly attached to things, unless they are of sentimental value, and I think this detachment is a good thing. Moving did teach me what is important, but it also taught me that I do have the strength to leave a bad situation, no matter how draining it is.

And boy have I had some bad situations.

When I finally moved away from all of the bad guys and awful roommates, and into my own place - well, that was a great decision. I had a job where I could finally afford to do it, and I'm so glad I did. I think that every person needs a chance to live alone before moving in with their boyfriend or whoever. Tangerine (my cat) helped me with the loneliness involved at times, but it was a lot less lonely than I thought it would be. In fact, it was often comforting, and it felt like I had a LOT more freedom than I was used to, even though I still had Brendan. There was no one else making a mess I had to clean up, or asking me to go to the store, or talking me into other activities. It was just me.

Moving in with Jimi was a gradual thing, since my apartment was so close to his. I could spend nights there without feeling like I had to bring the world with me, but I eventually collected a lot of stuff here, until I actually did move in. This apartment feels a little more like home than any other place I have lived in, but it still also feels like an apartment.

In the new place, we are going to do the kitchen our way, paint the walls, and have a real yard where we can make a little garden. I'm really excited to have a real house that we can make our home, and I'm also super excited that the basement is another apartment, so that Zaki can have his space. I'm really excited most of all that we can have a place to stay until Jimi finds his "real" job, and we theoretically will have to move wherever he gets that at, since I can be an artist anywhere. I don't mind moving and being a free spirit, but even though Brendan seems unaffected by all of it, I'd really love for him to have a more steady home with a family firmly rooted in it for him.

Bah, all of this is a huge sigh of relief, and with all my car issues and my new job, I haven't really dealt with any of the pains of actually finding a place. Thank you Jimi!

Wedding stuff

So, I'm also planning some more of the wedding now, since its about that time - things are getting close! I thought I had all the essentials set in stone, but then I came across a bout of indecisiveness. Dark blue and silver were my original colors for the wedding, but I was looking at flowers, and realized that I absolutely love another of my thoughts, dark blue and light pink. The fact that these are the sorts of decisions I need to be making is awesome... but I think maybe I'll go with the more colorful of the two options, and have stuff mostly blue with a lot of white and just a little pink as an accent.

Food is pretty much covered, the dress alterations need done asap, and I do need to start gathering decorations gradually. I also need accessories and fun stuff like that, and I still have NO idea what I'm going to do with my hair at all, which is fine.

Its amazing how much cheaper weddings are when you do everything yourself and have awesome friends and family to help out. The really expensive part that is kinda unavoidable of course is the honeymoon. Sadly my car troubles sucked a good deal of money out of me, and although I'm selling it and getting something that won't suck more out, I still lost a bit of what was supposed to take us to Vegas. I don't know, we were deciding between Vegas and something like Myrtle Beach anyways, and taking out the plane flight will make things much cheaper if we choose to go to the beach. Besides, we know we are just going to want to chill on the sand and in the hotel anyways! ;D


After diving through a billion and one resumes and portfolios, then interviewing people for EVER, I think I've found the newest addition to our team at Panther FineArts and Art-Efx. There were better fine artists, but he seemed to have the most skills that we don't have already, and was also definitely the most willing to learn. Joel has his heart in his arts and this job for sure. As a test run I'm having him design us a few new logos and a website background and format for me to use in my coding. (It will be nice sharing the work, but oh how I wish there was any other artist in the world that could program... oh well!) Hopefully he does a good job, I know I can convince Keith he's worth the money, and god knows we need the help with that area of things!

In other news, I have like 5 clients I need to be in contact with all the time as far as business, and we are getting more all the time. Business is more steady already than I expected, but it helps that Keith has a lot of really great connections. Hopefully we'll gather up some money soon and start up our new facets of the fine arts side of things, which we even plan to include a tattoo shop in. This summer will definitely be fun, but I need to practice my henna art for sure!

I'll keep everyone updated on where you can see our art, what is in progress, and where our face painting or henna booths will be at fairs and stuff. Woo! Achieving stuff is fun!

Why do electronics explode near me?

Yeah, so I may or may not have had a TON of car and computer issues lately..
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Anyhow, enough on my wonderful encounters with cars.

I've been taking random free commissions for digital art, since I need to have some more fun with my pentablet before I have a real portfolio. I got quite a few orders put in! As far as painting jobs, we are still working on the project for the hospital, and two different daycare centers. We have some other jobs coming up as well, and some random people that I need to keep in contact with. It is getting to the point where I'll be able to (and actually have to) do a lot of the work on my own, which is kinda cool. I work pretty well with other people, but I work best by myself. I think most artists probably do. Plus, you get paid more that way, which is always good!

In other news, Jimi is looking at getting an intership at Chase this summer instead of doing his usual overload of classes. He's been doing awesome in school, I have to say. He has all A's so far I believe, and he'll be a junior pretty soon already! He did have to quit teaching the martial arts class 3 days a week, unfortunately he just doesn't have the time to do it that often, and so far across town.

We also found a house, and actually signed a lease for it! Every time I say that, people are like, "Oh, you should buy instead of renting, you are just throwing your money away!" Yes, yes we are. My mom is a real estate agent, I think I'm up to date on the housing market as well as the benefits and penalties of buying right now. Here's the thing most people don't seem to notice - when you rent, and the furnace explodes, or the roof caves in, or the walls fall off, or the basement floods... its not your problem. These kinds of expenses would, at this point, simply make us homeless and/or in debt. Yeah, we could buy a brand new fancy home... oh wait, no we couldn't, because we are students and couldn't possibly get that kind of loan. There are about 20 other reasons I can think of not to buy right now as well. As soon as we find a location we actually want to settle down in, and Jimi has a steady job as well, we'll think about it.

Wow, I ranted! Anyways, the house is 4 bedrooms, one of which is in the really nice huge finished basement. The basement even has its own bathroom and living room area. And we have a mini fridge and two living room sets, so Zaki is really happy to be able to have is own little apartment down there! There's also a room for Brendan, an office, and the master as well. There are a couple living room areas, and a relatively nice kitchen (at least it is big enough). There's even a really nice big fenced-in yard, and a deck out front. We'll convince Jimi to get a dog yet. (After getting us another car that works, and trying to afford a wedding... haha)

By the way, the wedding is 104 days away, according to my planning website TheKnot.com. It has actually been pretty helpful through all this, with all the budgeting and planning lists. It is pretty customizable. Next things on my list, get invitations made, dress fitted, and start gathering random decorations. With all these car issues and other stuff cropping up, I've never been happier that I'm having a little fun wedding, and honestly I'm more excited than anything to see my sisters and have Jimi be welcomed into the family by everyone. I'm honestly not even nervous about getting married, and I thought that eventually I would be. How could I be, when I'm marrying the guy that keeps doing sweet stuff like making me breakfast in bed for no reason at all, even after years? Everyone has their moments, but I've never understood someone so well.

We will have to get Brendan all suited up for the wedding, it will be adorable. He's definitely the ring-bearer, but I think I'll do the new in-thing and give him a pillow with fake rings, just in case. I mean, we ARE going to be on a boat after all. Right now he is running around the house asking and looking for coins, since I taught him what his piggy bank is. He can also read me numerous entire books, and knows how to count like a pro! It is fascinating how quickly they learn.

This summer I plan on jumping on a few horses with my buddy and learning some new tricks, as well as teaching some. I'm also going to try to get back into learning martial arts stuff, even though we don't have actual classes anymore. MAN, I am a busy person, aren't I?